Life in Words

For someone who has never been very good at math, I sure like formulas! My sister told me the other day that my brother-in-law wondered why I wasn't an engineer since I value and prize order, organization, straight lines and routines so much. (She informed him that I sincerely lack in the area of mathematical expertise which quickly took engineering off the career table for me in college). Duty and responsibility are probably some of my loudest personality traits. This becomes a problem when I let those two parts take over in my spiritual life. I begin to recite prayers like formulas assuming they will work because of the power of the words, not the power of the Father. I begin to faithfully read my devotionals to check off my to do list, not because I'm sitting at His feet to listen. I begin to sing worship songs at church expecting the same revelations, not because I'm seeking His face. Order, familiarity, formulas, routine ... these are my places of com...

I'm a striver. I struggle with being performance oriented. Like a dancing  monkey, I might give you a good performance if you're willing to grant me a worth while reward. This fault has been the thorn in my side when it comes to not only trying to understand the unconditional love of God, but also trying to remember it. How and why would He love me when I haven't given Him a good Christian performance? Isn't He disappointed when I mess up? Isn't He embarrassed by my tantrums and disgraces? This morning as I was talking with Him and almost pleading,      "Abba, I just want to please you. I just want to do Your will..." I felt like He asked,      "Why? Are you serving me out of a fear of punishment or out of love?" Immediately I knew the answer. I had fallen back into fear of punishment. This week hasn't been my most stellar week and I was desperately trying to convince God with my words that I was going to be better. I know be...

When I was a little girl, I used to ask my younger sister to pray for things I really hoped would happen because I was convinced that God heard her prayers more than mine. I was in trouble more often than she was so it made logical sense to me that God would ignore my prayers and give ear to her's. When I saw this picture floating around Facebook it made me chuckle and remember the little girl who didn't consider her prayers very important. I imagine there are many others who also would rather have a pastor or someone more official or in tune with God to make their requests to Him on their behalf. How many times do we whisper our prayers and not even consider that God will actually bring to pass what we prayed for? How often do we consider our prayers not as valued as someone else's?  Yet God took notice of David before he was king... of Esther before she as queen... of Mary before she was the mother of Jesus... of Peter before he was a well known apostle...

I stand to praise You, But I fall to my knees. My spirit is willing, But my flesh is so weak. Light the fire In my soul, (In my weary soul) Fan the flame, Make me whole. (Make my spirit whole) Lord, You know
 
Just where I've been, (Where I've been) So light the fire in my heart again. I feel Your arms around me, As the power of Your healing begins. You breathe new life right through me, Like a mighty rushing wind. So light the fire in my heart again, Light the fire in my heart again, Light the fire in my heart again (By Bill Maxwell) Awe, the summer church camp memories those lyrics bring to mind. Back then I was more focused on how I sounded then what the song was really saying. Have you ever felt a weary soul? It’s like a slow burning fire, gradually growing cold. If it’s not stoked or reignited, it’ll go out. Sometimes these weary souls are good soldiers—doing everything they ought to be doing. On the outside, by all ...

I had a bad day yesterday. You know the one—a handful of little aggravating circumstances that haven’t seen results yet topped with a new unforeseen unfortunate circumstance and I broke... big, hard sobs that I had to run and stifle lest I terrify my children. My bed was my place of comfort until I could cry no more. God, where are you? My heart cried. Silence I know the right answers, the right Scriptures, the right attitudes; but at that moment I was broken—my shield and sword no longer defending but laid aside next to my crumbled self. Depression’s ugly face taunted me and tempted me to let him hold my hand. This foe whom I hadn’t seen in a long time was here again waiting for me to decide whose side I was really on. God, why won’t you just miraculously fix this growing lists of challenges I’m facing? Haven’t I tithed faithfully and given offerings? Haven’t I prayed, and fought with Scriptures, and served You? Why am I in this spot?! The vision of Peter ...

I saw a clip from a story on the news about a kindergarten class that starts each day with the students looking each other in the eyes and greeting each other with a handshake. The eye contact part was not only cute, (one little boy widened his eyes as he looked intently into the eyes of his classmate), but it struck me as vitally important to seeing each other as human beings. Making eye contact with another human being is impactful, creates respect and mutual acknowledgment. How often as a society do we actually make eye contact with each other? With the rise of technology, I find that this eye contact becomes less and less normal. In fact, we often avoid making eye contact at all. Even among those who are supposed to be the closet to us, eye contact is becoming rare. Think about it. How often do you spend time actually making eye contact with your loved ones when you’re in conversation? I would be willing to guess that it’s not often. The majority of us talk while looking at our pho...

Do I make a difference? “Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.” (Matthew 5:15) Wouldn’t it be curious if a lamp could ask, “Am I giving you enough light?” Regardless if the lamp thinks it’s making an impact, its light will have some affect... if it’s plugged in and turned on. Whether it has a dim light bulb or a eye blinding LED inside, the lamp will have an effect on the area surrounding it. It is simply not possible for the lamp not to add at least a light to its environment. The same is true for us. I may never know the impact I have had on my environment but I am encouraged by the thought that I have added at least a little light as long as I have been plugged into Him shining His light. May I offer this encouragement for those wondering if you have made a difference? Stay plugged into Him and turned on because you never know what area you may have just lit up for someone else.