Skip to main content

Fatherly Love

I wander from God's love at times. With a house to keep clean and a baby's constant care I find myself only praying my routinely AM and PM prayers. No stopping to listen. No being still to acknowledge that He is God. Just get it done. Then I wonder why I feel so empty inside.

This afternoon with Elisa sleeping in her swing I heard a still, small voice again. "Maria, the same way you find yourself longing to know that Elisa smiles for you because you are mama is the same way I long for you to stop and smile with Me because I am Abba Father." Wow! God is Almighty, Infinite, All Powerful, Redeemer, Friend, Discipliner if needed, constant Provider; but above all He is still Abba Father--Daddy. How easily I forget this. How little I realize it. How much more I wish I held on it. He is my Father. He does not wait for me to mess up to "thump" me. He does not mope around for days ignoring me because I've been bad. He does not simply hand out money and answer prayers because He has to. He is not satisfied with my "Hey God, what's up? Keep my loved ones safe and help me make it through today." Just like I look down at Elisa in her crib and wait for her to open her eyes and smile at me because I am mama, God waits for me to open my eyes and say "Good morning, Father."
Why I fear Him more than I love Him sometimes bewilders me.
Yet I am thankful that He continues to use my baby to teach me more and more about Him and His Fatherly, unconditional love every day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Big lessons in small packages

Motherhood is hard. I can't tell you the number of nights I worry if I am doing enough, being enough, getting enough parenting answers right. I've always been one to want to get it right the first time. I don't particularly care to attempt something that I think I'll fail. I'm not much of a risk taker. Give me a planner and no uninterrupted plans and I'm a happy person. But kids don't work like that. Let's be really honest--life doesn't work like that. Kids are loud, chaotic, curious, energetic and non-stop. They can't wait to experience everything and I'm nervous about experiencing anything. They soak up all the emotional, mental and physical energy I have during the day and then have the audacity to ask for more energy during the night for whatever reason. There is no day off, no holiday break, no weekends. I am fully responsible to feed, clothe, care for, nurture, teach and protect each one every. single. day. Anyone else feel a li...

I'm Not Losing Me

I had a bad day yesterday. You know the one—a handful of little aggravating circumstances that haven’t seen results yet topped with a new unforeseen unfortunate circumstance and I broke... big, hard sobs that I had to run and stifle lest I terrify my children. My bed was my place of comfort until I could cry no more. God, where are you? My heart cried. Silence I know the right answers, the right Scriptures, the right attitudes; but at that moment I was broken—my shield and sword no longer defending but laid aside next to my crumbled self. Depression’s ugly face taunted me and tempted me to let him hold my hand. This foe whom I hadn’t seen in a long time was here again waiting for me to decide whose side I was really on. God, why won’t you just miraculously fix this growing lists of challenges I’m facing? Haven’t I tithed faithfully and given offerings? Haven’t I prayed, and fought with Scriptures, and served You? Why am I in this spot?! The vision of Peter ...

Lonely places

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." (Luke 5:16) The word "lonely" stands out to me. It is a word that at a few different points in my life I would have used as the main adjective for my life at that time. It is a word that has a definite connotation to it. There is no apathetic reaction to this word. To qualify as being lonely, this area would have to have been desolate, empty, silent and far removed. Absolute solitude. This is what He sought when He needed to pray. Note that a few words before lonely, the verse says "often." Meaning that this was not a one time occurrence or even just a now and then, but something that happened on a regular basis. From my finite mind, this makes me think that Jesus might have been something like me--an extroverted introvert, or so I label myself. Someone who enjoys being around people and is not shy to make a public appearance but once that energy reserve is gone, absolutely needs to retreat to a pla...