There are days when being a mommy is everything magical and wonderful and happy. Then there are days when you wonder how you're going to make it through the next few years until kindergarten.
Today was the latter. (lol) Ugh...
I know I can't be the only one who feels like this so I am going to be brave and put it out there for anyone else who needs a "hey, I'm right there with you" pat on the back.
"I don't even feel like a real person" is the thought that often goes through my head as I wearily put kiddo #2 down and trudge back into the kitchen to prepare an "adult" dinner. What is a real person, one might ask. Well, in my mind, a real person is someone who doesn't have a delightful tube of stretched out skin around her middle; fixes her hair more than she wears it in a ponytail; showers whenever she'd like to; doesn't constantly smell of baby drool; can hold a conversation with other adults without being constantly distracted; is still confident in her adult social skills; smells of sexy perfume(s); can go out when she wants to where she wants; listens to "her" music; is called by her first name; etc. Basically, a real person is someone who is not a mommy to small children. What is it that captures your former identity and holds it hostage, thereby negating your status as "real" person? One word--mommyhood. First, you loose your body (and only a lucky few get to have it all back). Second, you loose all free time including your nighttime sleep hours. Third, you slowly loose your social skills (or at least feel like you have). Fourth, you loose your hobbies (I used to dance! Oh it hurts my heart...) Lastly, you even loose your name (I don't even remember what my name was before "mommy"). Then one day, it hits you.... I no longer feel like a "real" person. I have been taken over by two small, albeit incredibly adorable, people. (sigh) It is on days like today where I am reminded of my lost identity that I sigh and remember that right now my biggest responsibility, my biggest calling, my biggest ministry is to raise these two precious kiddos with God's help. One day they will not need me as much as they do now. One day I will again shower, wear makeup, do my hair, wear fancy clothes, smell good, converse uninterrupted, SLEEP, and maybe (let's be really hopeful now) look close to how I did in college. Just maybe! Until then, I'll roll up my sleeves and dive back into this mommy business with a strength that I know is only from above.
Keep trudging mommies! One day we will earn our names back!
Today was the latter. (lol) Ugh...
I know I can't be the only one who feels like this so I am going to be brave and put it out there for anyone else who needs a "hey, I'm right there with you" pat on the back.
"I don't even feel like a real person" is the thought that often goes through my head as I wearily put kiddo #2 down and trudge back into the kitchen to prepare an "adult" dinner. What is a real person, one might ask. Well, in my mind, a real person is someone who doesn't have a delightful tube of stretched out skin around her middle; fixes her hair more than she wears it in a ponytail; showers whenever she'd like to; doesn't constantly smell of baby drool; can hold a conversation with other adults without being constantly distracted; is still confident in her adult social skills; smells of sexy perfume(s); can go out when she wants to where she wants; listens to "her" music; is called by her first name; etc. Basically, a real person is someone who is not a mommy to small children. What is it that captures your former identity and holds it hostage, thereby negating your status as "real" person? One word--mommyhood. First, you loose your body (and only a lucky few get to have it all back). Second, you loose all free time including your nighttime sleep hours. Third, you slowly loose your social skills (or at least feel like you have). Fourth, you loose your hobbies (I used to dance! Oh it hurts my heart...) Lastly, you even loose your name (I don't even remember what my name was before "mommy"). Then one day, it hits you.... I no longer feel like a "real" person. I have been taken over by two small, albeit incredibly adorable, people. (sigh) It is on days like today where I am reminded of my lost identity that I sigh and remember that right now my biggest responsibility, my biggest calling, my biggest ministry is to raise these two precious kiddos with God's help. One day they will not need me as much as they do now. One day I will again shower, wear makeup, do my hair, wear fancy clothes, smell good, converse uninterrupted, SLEEP, and maybe (let's be really hopeful now) look close to how I did in college. Just maybe! Until then, I'll roll up my sleeves and dive back into this mommy business with a strength that I know is only from above.
Keep trudging mommies! One day we will earn our names back!
I can relate and I just have one child yelling mommy every 10 minutes...or literally wrapped around my leg as I'm trying to make dinner. I'm averaging 2 showers a week right now--I can only imagine what I will look like when I have TWO kids. You are such a good mommy--and there will come a day when you can take a shower EVERY day if you want :)
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