Life in Words

To be insignificant. To live a life unworthy of notice. To simply be a vapor--here one second and gone the next without any other notice. I find that this fear of insignificance is a BIG one for many people. No one wants to be insignificant. No one truly wants to go through life alone. No one would pass up a moment of fame if it were offered to him. It is so interesting that deep inside us there is this need to be noticed and to be included. This is where comparison comes to taunt, hurt and manipulate us--making us wish that we were someone else. Comparison can create a desire to want to look like, sound like, act like and be like someone else. Yet, there are no two people exactly the same. Each one of us has unique fingerprints, DNA, mental processes, emotions, thoughts, hopes and dreams. There is no one who is not unique. Each one of us has something that no one else in the whole world has--your spirit. For the body is but an outer shell--a casing if you will. That body is not re...

Life as a parent teaches you many things. In fact, I would dare to say that I have grown in my understanding of God and how He must view us, exponentially more than I ever did before I was a parent. After all, He is God our father. There are so many times as a parents that I think to myself, "why don't you listen to me more?"; "why do you insist on making the same choice over and over again?"; "why in the world world would you think that was a good idea?"; and lastly, "don't you trust me?" More than they know, I want my kids to go through life with the least amount of pain possible. I want them to be happy, content, healthy, smart, strong and safe. There is absolutely no part of me that ever wants to see them suffer. None. Zero. Yet, I know that if they persist in making a wrong choice, a painful consequence is inevitable. How do I know this? Simply because I have been around longer than they have and have already learned some life less...

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." (Luke 5:16) The word "lonely" stands out to me. It is a word that at a few different points in my life I would have used as the main adjective for my life at that time. It is a word that has a definite connotation to it. There is no apathetic reaction to this word. To qualify as being lonely, this area would have to have been desolate, empty, silent and far removed. Absolute solitude. This is what He sought when He needed to pray. Note that a few words before lonely, the verse says "often." Meaning that this was not a one time occurrence or even just a now and then, but something that happened on a regular basis. From my finite mind, this makes me think that Jesus might have been something like me--an extroverted introvert, or so I label myself. Someone who enjoys being around people and is not shy to make a public appearance but once that energy reserve is gone, absolutely needs to retreat to a pla...

Mistake: "an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc" (Dictionary.com) Mistakes are not my favorite. I tend to lean toward the personality of wanting everything to be done correctly and efficiently the first time. You can imagine how well this personality bend has worked as a mother of young children. God is gracious in His living life examples and endurance training. Frustratingly, part of this personality trait also lends itself to self shaming. When I do make a mistake I was (I say was because God is working on this with me) the most brutal judge, jury and journalist to myself. Mentally replaying the mistake and how I could have corrected it, until I am completely disgusted with myself. Then of course comes the next logical cycle of condemning myself to a life void of meaning and influence because how could God possibly use someone so riddled with faults? Yet, to my great relief, the Bible...

Silence... nothing but the sound of the wind moving through the trees. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Solitude.. Time alone and still to clear my mind and the highway traffic of thoughts. How good it is to sit quietly and hear the nothing of a place untouched by the business of life. I see the waves of the wind move through the branches as they ebb and flow from one part of the world to the next. "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) There is a reason He wrote those words. We need that time of stillness to feel the breathe of God flow back into our lives. The lights and sounds and excitement of the fast paced life can be alluring. As a teenager I didn't understand the need to stop and be still. Why not keep going? Why not  move as fast you can and always have noise and always fly from the one exciting event to the other? I had not found the beauty in the stillness of nature. The way the voice of God whispers to you there. Elijah was weary of his rushe...

Time... It passes by quickly or slowly. It doesn't seem to have a preference either way. It can be a fickle thing, that time. Sometimes doing the opposite of what you desperately need it to do at that very moment. The sun and the moon mark the time... the ticking of the second hand marks the time... the reflection in the mirror as it changes marks the time. What is it about time that makes it so precious? Could it be that it is not altered by any man in the world? There is no one on earth who can boast in his resume that he can control, manipulate or change the passing of time. No amount of money, however great, can alter the scope of time. Time plays no favorites. It passes at the same speed for each of us regardless of who we are. What else is about time that makes it so precious? Could it be that once it's gone, it can never be retrieved? I can attempt to recreate moments of time by planning every detail to be the same as it once was--but that specific day, hour, mood, co...

What makes you feel like dancing? What makes you feel free and alive and full of joy? I feel like the word "obedience" is not the first thing that comes to mind. Am I right? Ironically, as I age, I learn that obedience is one of the basic parts to a foundation of a fulfilling life. Reading Psalm chapter 119 (mind you, it's long but how it has become one of my favorites), I began to notice the number of times the psalmist mentions feeling free because he follows God's commands. Think of it this way... As a mother, I can let my children run around the front yard and play to their heart's content, as long as they do not attempt to cross the street. If they even come close to the street, you will hear the mommy roar STOP! As most young children, I imagine they would pout or not understand why they are not allowed to cross the street. I know something they do not know. I know that if a car were to come speeding by, it might not stop in time, God forbid, ...

Psalm 139:5 "You hem me in, behind and before," "Hem: turn under and sew the edge of (a piece of clothe or clothing) / surround and restrict the space of" (Google definition) You hem clothes instead of leaving them unfinished to keep the ends from unraveling. There is a restriction placed--a border-- to stop the fabric from coming apart. Should that hem be removed, it is simply a matter of time before that piece of clothe will be completely undone. "You hem me in ..." He keeps us from unraveling. He places boundaries so that we do not become completely undone. What happens when we in our ignorance, step out from that hem? We unravel ourselves. We allow time, life, and the tears of life to rip us apart and leave us but a thread of what once was. Will those of us who have been unraveled remain nothing but loose ends of thread? I suppose it depends on each of us. Will you allow Him to restitch the fabric of your life back together again? Allow H...

Last year at Pink Impact God freed me from a box in which fear had held me hostage for years. No kidding. If you haven't read my story, you can find it here:  FREE indeed Last week, despite having a cold--you know the one (raw, scratchy throat, with a terribly congested head)--I made it a point to attend Pink Impact again. Once again I am so thankful I pushed through and went to spend dedicated time with my Savior. Praise God, I felt normal for the good majority of the conference. (Yes, I was completely oiled in Breathe and OnGuard and asking for His healing. I'm so thankful for those oils, but that's for a different post) Ironically, as soon as I got home after the conference was over, my body just let loose and I definitely needed to just rest for the rest of the weekend. Thank God, I'm feeling much better today :) Fear. . . it's not a fun place to live in everyday. Truly and sincerely, I have lived differently this year because of the freedom I received last ...

I have kept a personal journal, diary, if you will, since I was 12. I like writing. I like reading. I like words. I feel words--they carry depth and emotion and feeling. People often use words carelessly as if they dissipate as quickly as your breath in the cold winter's air. They don't, though. Words linger... ringing in your mind's ear for days, weeks, months, even years. For those that can almost tangibly feel the weight of words, some words last a lifetime. There are words that change the course of a person's personal history. Choices are made, challenges left behind, motivation lost or rather ignited all because someone said ... With words God spoke our entire universe into being. With words Jesus gave up His spirit. With words the Holy Spirit quiets a tormented soul. What words do you hold? What words do you share? What words do you not share for fear of rejection? A fear of rejection that was probably instilled in you because of someone's careless words. H...