I like puzzles. Mostly because they are good for my brain. They can become so frustrating as I try to make all the pieces work together. Some puzzles would be impossible to put together if I did not have the finished, big picture to refer to. Then there are those puzzles that are never complete because a piece or pieces were missing.
When pieces are missing, I don't see the full picture.
As a mother, I have learned many things that I would never understand had I never become a mother. As a woman, I understand/empathize with womanly issues more than any man ever could.
As a sister, I truly value the relationship that can only exist between/among siblings.
As a wife, I have gained intimate knowledge of just how difficult it can be to unite two people together completely.
As a former student, I remember the agony of unending hours of homework and the unfairness of a major exam right after a break.
Then as a teacher, I valued the time my teachers poured into me and my classmates more than I could have ever done as a student.
Throughout life I have gained new perspectives on situations that I originally thought I understood completely until I actually experienced those situations myself.
Now as a continuously learning adult, I have determined one thing to be utterly true--no one can truly understand/sympathize/empathize with another's situation until he/she experiences that situation in an intimate way (either personally or with a very close loved one).
There have been extremely heated debates fought over social media or other public forums. Debates over vaccines, marriage, police force, racism, immigration, government control, schooling, abortion, etc.
The one thread all these debates have in common is the human need to be understood, and the contempt of feeling misunderstood.
Those on one side adamantly feel they stand on the right side of the issue because of this theory or that fact. While those on the other side feel just as adamantly that they stand on the actual correct side because of this refuted fact or that heart wrenching testimony. Each side with their own facts. Each side with their emotions on high and their wills determined to win the fight.
All wars have causalities.
These wars of words, values and rights often leave a bigger mess than the original problem faced.
Neither side wants to fully understand the other side. The main goal becomes to win.
Yet, I find that when I seek to understand, not just sympathize, console or shrug off, but truly get to know those on the other side, I find that they are a lot like me.
Someone who yearns to be understood, valued and loved.
Each side of these debates are made up of people--people with stories and life experiences that have shaped their world views.
People who whole hardheartedly want to protect their children from harm--physically, mentally, emotionally.
People who are frustrated with a promised change that doesn't come.
People who would risk death trying to provide a better life for themselves and their families.
People who are so used to being passed over because of their physical appearance that they have become skeptical and cynical of all those around them.
People who are lost and know not where to look for help, comfort, strength and wisdom.
People who have been lied to and only discovered the truth after it was too late.
Debates are words; and words come from people; and people have wills, emotions, determination and a desire to be understood.
The right and the wrong of every situation is no less important.
Every argument must come to an end.
But maybe each disagreement could produce less destruction and more production if all those involved remembered that at the heart of every human is a need to be truly understood. For if I am understood, then I can be valued.
My puzzle with pieces missing will never be complete.
The full picture is only fully realized when all the pieces come together.
"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Many seek the face of a ruler, but it is from the Lord that a man gets justice." (Proverbs 29:25-26)
When pieces are missing, I don't see the full picture.
As a mother, I have learned many things that I would never understand had I never become a mother. As a woman, I understand/empathize with womanly issues more than any man ever could.
As a sister, I truly value the relationship that can only exist between/among siblings.
As a wife, I have gained intimate knowledge of just how difficult it can be to unite two people together completely.
As a former student, I remember the agony of unending hours of homework and the unfairness of a major exam right after a break.
Then as a teacher, I valued the time my teachers poured into me and my classmates more than I could have ever done as a student.
Throughout life I have gained new perspectives on situations that I originally thought I understood completely until I actually experienced those situations myself.
Now as a continuously learning adult, I have determined one thing to be utterly true--no one can truly understand/sympathize/empathize with another's situation until he/she experiences that situation in an intimate way (either personally or with a very close loved one).
There have been extremely heated debates fought over social media or other public forums. Debates over vaccines, marriage, police force, racism, immigration, government control, schooling, abortion, etc.
The one thread all these debates have in common is the human need to be understood, and the contempt of feeling misunderstood.
Those on one side adamantly feel they stand on the right side of the issue because of this theory or that fact. While those on the other side feel just as adamantly that they stand on the actual correct side because of this refuted fact or that heart wrenching testimony. Each side with their own facts. Each side with their emotions on high and their wills determined to win the fight.
All wars have causalities.
These wars of words, values and rights often leave a bigger mess than the original problem faced.
Neither side wants to fully understand the other side. The main goal becomes to win.
Yet, I find that when I seek to understand, not just sympathize, console or shrug off, but truly get to know those on the other side, I find that they are a lot like me.
Someone who yearns to be understood, valued and loved.
Each side of these debates are made up of people--people with stories and life experiences that have shaped their world views.
People who whole hardheartedly want to protect their children from harm--physically, mentally, emotionally.
People who are frustrated with a promised change that doesn't come.
People who would risk death trying to provide a better life for themselves and their families.
People who are so used to being passed over because of their physical appearance that they have become skeptical and cynical of all those around them.
People who are lost and know not where to look for help, comfort, strength and wisdom.
People who have been lied to and only discovered the truth after it was too late.
Debates are words; and words come from people; and people have wills, emotions, determination and a desire to be understood.
The right and the wrong of every situation is no less important.
Every argument must come to an end.
But maybe each disagreement could produce less destruction and more production if all those involved remembered that at the heart of every human is a need to be truly understood. For if I am understood, then I can be valued.
My puzzle with pieces missing will never be complete.
The full picture is only fully realized when all the pieces come together.
"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Many seek the face of a ruler, but it is from the Lord that a man gets justice." (Proverbs 29:25-26)
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