Life in Words

Psalm 86:11 "Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear you name." An undivided heart... Those words jumped off the page as I was reading this verse tonight. What does an undivided heart mean? Not to be torn between two things...not to be promoting two different agendas...not to be serving two different masters...not to be reaching for two different goals. For if you have a heart divided, neither side is king. Ultimately one side will win. Which side will you choose? A heart divided... A motive unsure. Which answer is right? Which cause is more important? Which love is stronger? Which side will you serve? A heart divided will not stand. One side will lie to the other but how will you know which side is telling the truth?  Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" Holy Spirit, give me a heart undivided--nothing and no one more i...

Everyday we do family devotionals. My Bible app picks a random verse of the day and we talk about what it means, etc. I really enjoy this time with my kids and watching them as they grow, learn, and understand more deeply. This morning's verse was Romans 15:4 "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." Three words really stuck out to me: instruction, endurance and encouragement. Instruction: sometimes thought of as the only reason for the Bible, it is truly one of the most valuable parts of it. Proverbs is one of my favorite books for instruction. It is filled with tips for life and I often find myself discovering something new every time I read it. Endurance: I can not tell you the number of times that I have looked to this book for the endurance to keep going. Stories of Moses, Joshua, Joseph, Abraham and Sarah, and Peter have spoken to me numerous t...

Pages filled with anxious thoughts. Self rebukes over faithless walks. Tear stained ink blots. Happily scribbled exclamation dots. Trials recorded and lives unfolded, Over the creased lines of stories told. Pleas for wisdom. Cries for mercy. Answered petitions, And surprised renditions Of stories with newly twisted plots. Desperation. Exasperation. Written daily! Then forgotten lazily... Stories of successful potties. Frustration with consistent naughty. Prayers of hope. Prayers for peace. Memory verses needed as Persistent sources of daily strength. Determined stances. Defeated chances. Joy filled exclamations. Laughed over situations. Healing supplications. Worship then adoration. These are what fill my pages. Stories of my children's lives. Written with a fiery drive By a mother who strives To cover them in prayer. Memories for one day soon. A notebook to be passed on to you. A family recipe better than any heirloom. A mother'...

Motherhood is hard. I can't tell you the number of nights I worry if I am doing enough, being enough, getting enough parenting answers right. I've always been one to want to get it right the first time. I don't particularly care to attempt something that I think I'll fail. I'm not much of a risk taker. Give me a planner and no uninterrupted plans and I'm a happy person. But kids don't work like that. Let's be really honest--life doesn't work like that. Kids are loud, chaotic, curious, energetic and non-stop. They can't wait to experience everything and I'm nervous about experiencing anything. They soak up all the emotional, mental and physical energy I have during the day and then have the audacity to ask for more energy during the night for whatever reason. There is no day off, no holiday break, no weekends. I am fully responsible to feed, clothe, care for, nurture, teach and protect each one every. single. day. Anyone else feel a li...

Recently I read a testimony given to the Supreme Court in favor of abortion. The woman was not ready to be a mother--she had other plans. She is thankful for her abortion because in her eyes, she has accomplished much good in the world. Accomplishments that she felt would have been impossible had she become a mother. Her story broke my heart. The night or two before reading this post, Dr.Ravi Zacharias spoke at my church and posed a thought that stuck with me--(my paraphrase) what if some of the answers to the world's problems were going to come through the people that were never given the chance to be born? That thought coupled with the woman's story inspired me to write the following poem. He Who Never Was He could have been a doctor, a lawyer or entrepreneur. Made great advances in science, law or building more careers. He could have been a great humanitarian, The most benevolent benefactor ever  known- Leaving a legacy of...

Have you read the book of Ezekiel? It's an...interesting one to say the least. God asked Ezekiel to do some strange things (like lying on his side for 390 days); but what I found fascinating is that before all this started, He told Ezekiel multiple times not to be afraid of the people or what they would say. (Ezekiel 2) The fact that He said it multiple times must mean that it was a message that He really wanted Ezekiel to remember. He knew that what He was calling Ezekiel to do was not going to be easy and people pleasing was not going to be an option for him. "The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that." (Proverbs 29:25 MSG) While reading Ezekiel 2 I almost felt as if that message was meant for me--as if God was saying to me, "Maria, don't be afraid of them or of their words." How often am I one to be afraid of people--what they think, what they say, what I think they are thinking or saying about me. It's enough fe...

Jehovah Jireh--God will provide. Have you ever felt at a loss for where the provision for a certain need was going to come from? Spent hours going over the budget and readjusting the totals in different categories trying to make room? I'm a budgeter--not sure it is a real word--but I like budgets. I like to have the columns even out and know where and what and how--I like having it all controlled. So when the numbers don't add up or there is an unexpected expense, my stomach tightens. The columns don't match and the balance is off. This does not make me happy. Jehovah Jireh. It is one thing to know a truth in my mind and another thing to hold it true in my heart. Recently, instead of fretting over the unexpected expenses, I challenged myself to really make this name of His true in my heart. Provider:(noun) a person or thing that provides (dictionary.com) He will meet all my needs according to His great riches. (Philippians 4:19) He knows what I need before I ask...